Infatuation vs Love

I read a post on infatuation and love a few days back and I thought I should share my two cents on it.

According to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, infatuation consists of only passion. Meanwhile, there are different types of love such as consummate, companionate, fatuous and empty. Of which, consummate love is like the highest form of love consisting of commitment, intimacy and passion. But in my opinion, not many couples reach this level, at least in today’s world. With changing definitions of marriage, marriage is no longer an institution where (consummate) love can be found for everyone.

Coming back to the issue at hand, there are many differences between infatuation and love. Infatuation means you’re passionate about the person, looking at him/her as the perfect human being, everything he/she does is flawless. You feel like you’re falling in love, but you’re not, because , you love only the person’s facade, what they show to the world but not their true self. You love their appearances, or the way they dress, or their actions. But would you still love them if you know their vulnerabilities, intentions and what their heart’s deepest desires? Infatuation is ephemeral. Maybe this is why there are more short lived marriages and divorce rates are increasing. Many people are infatuated with “their other half”. Once their married, the imperfection comes out and the infatuation is gone.

What about love? Love isn’t getting butterflies in your stomach when you think about him/her. But getting those same butterflies even after seeing them at their worst. Love is being with them through all of life’s ups and downs. Love is in the smallest of things, like helping in household chores. Love is accepting each other’s flaws and loving those flaws because that is what makes them so special to you. Love is a commitment, being there for the other person. Love is wholehearted acceptance of who you are. Love is patching up with the other person after a huge fight because the relationship matters, not your ego. Love is not about having a big fat wedding ceremony but a long lasting marriage. Love is more than just sex and has nothing to do with lust. Love is something beyond the appearance. it is about falling in love with the mind, the heart and the soul, not just the body.

What I have written above is entirely my opinion and I do not wish to hurt anyone’s feelings. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.


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