Being “Small”

Standing at 153 cm tall, and weighing around 30+ kg, I am and have been underweight for the past 10 or so years.

Since primary school days, I sat at the front row for class photo taking session. I was always one of the smallest and skinniest in class.At 20, I am still one of the smallest and skinniest in university (though I have seen people much tinier and lighter than me). Whenever people say things like ” you’re small”, ” I thought you were younger, like 13 or 14″ etc., I used to treat it as a joke and laugh it off. Then for some time, I realized that what is important is that I should be comfortable with my body. Let me get this straight, I am comfortable with my body. But I want to be better.

Realistically speaking, I can’t change much about my height. But, I can do something about my weight. Well, gaining weight is one of those things that will definitely help me attain my goals. E.g. donating blood (need to be at least 45 kg), doing activities that require me to be physically fit (one of my bucket list items is to climb Mount Kinabalu), wearing clothes that I like and many more.

Unfortunately, there are few things you need to know about me.

  • I am lazy.
  • I am a picky eater and I kind of dislike vegetables. I am not a big fan of fruits too.
  • I dislike running.
  • I honestly don’t think I would like paying for gym membership fees (not being stingy or cheapskate but I am not sure if it’s worth it).
  • I am not a sporty person. Me & Sports= no no.

I am not writing this to say that I will start to exercise and eat properly from tomorrow. Getting fit is a process, a journey that requires self-discipline. You have to put both your mind and body to it. And this writing is part of the process to start that journey (hopefully I can start it by the end of this year).

While there are so many wanting to lose weight, there are some who are struggling to gain weight (like me). Losing weight can be difficult for some people, likewise gaining weight for some people is not a piece of cake as well. Nonetheless, both need motivation, inspiration and discipline to get through; going to the same destination in the opposite directions.

Here’s a quote to inspire those who are struggling to get fit:

Everyone must choose one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

-Jim Rohn

The choice is yours (and mine)!:)

Have a happy week ahead everyone!

P.S. I just realized that I wrote this faster than my assignments..hehehe

The Need to Up My Game

My last post was two months ago. Well, it clearly shows that I ain’t had the proper time to update my blog. This semester is much more difficult than the previous one. The modules are tough and I need to be tough too. Last semester, I had time to do extra revision during school time. Unfortunately, this semester, I do not have that same luxury. Assignments itself take up the bulk of my time. I guess this is what uni life is supposed to be like.  I have 5 more weeks of school to go. More assignments are due in the weeks ahead. Soon I would have to choose my subjects for next semester. Exams in another month’s time. So many things are happening at once. Can I survive this? I hope I can..

Have you ever felt terrible after a test that you studied so hard for? Honestly, that feeling is a horrible one. Have you ever prepared for an assignment and seemed a little lost while writing? Like you have no clue of how to continue or are you even in the right direction? Trust me, that sure gives me panic attacks. Constantly doubting my capabilities are not going to help. Thinking about things and people of the past are not going to help.

The only thing that is going to help is believing in myself. Believing in my abilities. I know I can do it. I have to do it. I have to change. No mistakes this time round. I have goals to achieve. AND I WILL I  ACHIEVE THEM.

And for that, I need to UP MY GAME.

I hope this post finds you well. I hope this post helps those struggling out there.Believe in yourself. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.